Domesticated Lady

Today is my mom's 48th birthday!!! WooHoo!!! She gave birth to me when she was 16 years old and then gave me two sisters by the time she was 18. This means that she gets to enjoy her empty nest and her grandchildren before reaching menopause.  That is not something that will happen for me, so I think it's pretty darn cool. In celebration of my mom, I will shine a little light on a lesson she worked tirelessly to instill in my sisters and I: Excellence without Excuses. Now, she didn't call it that. Her language was a bit more colorful back in the day. What she called it is irrelevant to what she meant and how it's still relevant. If my mother told us to clean the kitchen, simply washing the dishes wasn't going to cut it. We had to wash dishes, clean the counter, stove, table and floor nightly. Once a week we were required to clean the inside of the refrigerator. Of course, we also had to handle the trash. Anything less meant we had failed to do what we were...

I was embarrassed. I became domesticated under a set of circumstances that I did not choose. I felt like dead weight. I've always worked for what I want. I was afraid of depending solely on my husband's income. I was angry for trusting someone who didn't deserve to be trusted. I was delighted when I got my first client. I felt important again. I was re-filled with a sense of purpose . I could make financial contributions again. I would no longer be a burden . I gained access to BOTH worlds: The Workplace Wilderness AND Destination Domestication!!! I would ONLY mention one of them, because I was still ashamed of being domesticated. Until... My husband and I were having an end of the day chat. He asked me how was staying at home? So I confessed that it was a delight, but that I was also grateful to be able to contribute to the finances. He looked at me pointedly. Deep in thought. Before finally saying, "I thought you said that your m...

It's the day before Valentine's Day, and my 4:00 am alarm is screaming at me. I swear the nights are getting shorter. I know that I just laid down.  I'm hesitant to submit to the dictation of the intrusive alarm for a variety of reasons: The first being, I'm tired . I mean, it's 4:00 am. Another being, this week is moving too quickly and I'm feeling over-whelmed at the thought of not meeting my own expectations. The main reason is the fact that this alarm is specifically set, so that I can make my husband breakfast, pack him a snack and assist him as needed before he leaves for work. And after having one of those marital spats, I'm not in the mood to serve him. In fact, I want nothing to do with him at the moment, and I believe that I can teach him a lesson by "forgetting" to meet his needs. I want him as upset as I am. I want him to work for my affections, to earn his meal and my help. I want him aware that this is a sacrifice that I mak...

When I was a working wife and mom with Lupus, I would often start my days just as exhausted as I ended them . In my frequent searches to better understand an illness I will have until I die, I discovered the fatigue that is responsible for the frustratingly, embarrassing condition known as Lupus Fog . Basically, your body is so tired and in so much pain that it has caused your brain to check out. You feel confused, with an inability to form coherent sentences. You lose your ability to remember even the most important pieces of information, even with the aid of memorization strategies. Personally, I have had to stop in the middle of grocery shopping because I couldn't remember what I needed to get even though I was holding a list! The only cure is to use rest to reset. Now, I thought that domestication would require much less from me than the workplace wilderness. The truth is, if you're taking care of your spouse and child(ren) and home, and keeping up with schedules...