Domesticated Lady

The last time I had a year this trying, I tried to kill myself. Literally. I wanted to die. I figured dying had to be less painful. Thank God I failed!!! It was the first time I ever appreciated failure... I got the help I needed, and now I help those in need. I'm in a much better place now. So no, suicidal thoughts aren't floating around my head. In fact, I'm hopeful. So much so, that I'm excited to see what 2019 has in store for me.  2018 forced me to grow mentally, emotionally and spiritually. The woman I am today is stronger and wiser than the woman who started this blog. I've been betrayed, unemployed, back-stabbed, lied on and cheated. I was used and manipulated. I was cast out and misquoted. I have grieved the death of a friend and the death of a relationship . I have stayed up at night worrying about people I care about the most. I have had hiccups and upsets all while navigating the day-to-day life of a wife/mom/teacher. And yet... I...

I was embarrassed. I became domesticated under a set of circumstances that I did not choose. I felt like dead weight. I've always worked for what I want. I was afraid of depending solely on my husband's income. I was angry for trusting someone who didn't deserve to be trusted. I was delighted when I got my first client. I felt important again. I was re-filled with a sense of purpose . I could make financial contributions again. I would no longer be a burden . I gained access to BOTH worlds: The Workplace Wilderness AND Destination Domestication!!! I would ONLY mention one of them, because I was still ashamed of being domesticated. Until... My husband and I were having an end of the day chat. He asked me how was staying at home? So I confessed that it was a delight, but that I was also grateful to be able to contribute to the finances. He looked at me pointedly. Deep in thought. Before finally saying, "I thought you said that your m...

It's the day before Valentine's Day, and my 4:00 am alarm is screaming at me. I swear the nights are getting shorter. I know that I just laid down.  I'm hesitant to submit to the dictation of the intrusive alarm for a variety of reasons: The first being, I'm tired . I mean, it's 4:00 am. Another being, this week is moving too quickly and I'm feeling over-whelmed at the thought of not meeting my own expectations. The main reason is the fact that this alarm is specifically set, so that I can make my husband breakfast, pack him a snack and assist him as needed before he leaves for work. And after having one of those marital spats, I'm not in the mood to serve him. In fact, I want nothing to do with him at the moment, and I believe that I can teach him a lesson by "forgetting" to meet his needs. I want him as upset as I am. I want him to work for my affections, to earn his meal and my help. I want him aware that this is a sacrifice that I mak...

A Bit of Background Information... Danielle is the female version of Daniel. Daniel means "God is my judge", and so does Danielle...by association. I attend church and Sunday School regularly. January 2018 lessons have all been about 'standing your ground with regards to your convictions, NO MATTER the COST '. The text to support the unit has come from the book of... Daniel . Daniel and his friends (often called the 3 Hebrew boys) were young, handsome and intelligent when their people were taken into captivity. These 4 fellas stood out to the point of being selected to go through a three-year boot-camp in order to be brainwashed so that they could serve the king who held them captive. Right from the beginning, their faith was tested . They passed each test with flying colors, with the assistance of God. Of course, whenever anyone shines brightly, they attract the attention of dull-minded haters . These particular Old-Testament haters caused the 3 Hebrew boy...

"Dear God. I just want to be the woman You want me to be." Be careful what you pray for. God has a way of developing you in ways that leave you sore and uncomfortable. If I stay honest. I have to admit that I am unsure what God wants for or from me and that is downright scary. I am afraid of not knowing what's next. I have spent thirteen years developing my professional career just for it to be snatched from me in the blink of an eye. The unknown is a fascinatingly frightening purgatory. Therefore, in an attempt not to lose myself to my anxieties about my future's financial stability, I am setting some ground rules. 1. No social media!     I need to hear from God, and that's so hard to do when I'm tuned in to everyone else. So for now, it's bye-bye Facebook. 2. Staying well-rested.     I have time on my hands now, so I might as well catch up on some much needed zzzzz's. Come back next week for more information about the importance of ge...

Ever since I was a little girl, I wanted to be a wife and mom. I knew I wanted to stay home and care for my children and serve my husband by creating a kingdom of peace called home. As I matured, the feeling grew stronger, but I was intelligent. I exceeded every low expectation given to the product of a teen pregnancy in the 80's. After graduating from college into a recession, I went into the only field I had experience in; childcare. I never wanted to work with children in that capacity, but I stayed in the field. I worked with children from every cultural and economic background in Saint Louis, MO and surrounding areas. I deepened my skills and knowledge base while adding years of experience under my belt. While I was flourishing in my professional development, I was suffering personally. Depression and anxiety started to consume me. It is so easy to lose your focus when real life doesn't meet the expectations of your fantasies . I was lost. I was confused. I was hurtin...