Domesticated Lady

I'm back!!! I skipped last week in order to grieve thoroughly, so that I could come back and chat with a clear mind. On Thursday, February 15, 2018 a friend of mine and his toddler son were slain in their own suburban home.  That night, I had trouble getting comfortable enough to fall asleep. It was storming, and my Restless Leg Syndrome was in rare form. I felt as though I were being stabbed, over and over again . Relief finally began to arrive in minuscule doses around 9:30 pm, so that by 10:15 pm, I had finally fallen asleep. Imagine my utter frustration when my husband's phone rang around 10:40 pm with the tragic news of an attack that left me feeling robbed. Disbelief . In its rawest form. I wasn't even sad at first. How can something you don't believe in hurt you? But after having the local news confirm my two original sources, I started to feel the loss only being violated can cause.  I was wounded. Cut deep. Shot. Delivered a blow. I have yet to...

It's the day before Valentine's Day, and my 4:00 am alarm is screaming at me. I swear the nights are getting shorter. I know that I just laid down.  I'm hesitant to submit to the dictation of the intrusive alarm for a variety of reasons: The first being, I'm tired . I mean, it's 4:00 am. Another being, this week is moving too quickly and I'm feeling over-whelmed at the thought of not meeting my own expectations. The main reason is the fact that this alarm is specifically set, so that I can make my husband breakfast, pack him a snack and assist him as needed before he leaves for work. And after having one of those marital spats, I'm not in the mood to serve him. In fact, I want nothing to do with him at the moment, and I believe that I can teach him a lesson by "forgetting" to meet his needs. I want him as upset as I am. I want him to work for my affections, to earn his meal and my help. I want him aware that this is a sacrifice that I mak...

I promised myself that I would sleep in . This is the statement making waves in my brain after I check the time on my phone. It's 5:02 am. And I'm wide awake, on this cold Saturday morning after having promising myself that I would sleep in. But my unwritten to-do list is assaulting the peace I need in order to get some sleep.  Earlier in the week, I washed 6 loads of laundry, went grocery shopping, paid bills, acquired an updated insurance policy, re-signed my lease and made a Sam's Club run all while keeping up with my other day-to-day tasks and chores. Friday night I was exhausted. So much so, that I howled in pure frustration when I realized I there was another 5 loads of laundry that HAD to be cleaned before Sunday. Here I was on Friday afternoon, swollen with pride at how the entire weekend could be taken at a slow pace, thanks to my efforts during the week. Seeing that basket left me feeling winded as if it had sprouted arms and punched me in the gut.  But ...

A Bit of Background Information... Danielle is the female version of Daniel. Daniel means "God is my judge", and so does Danielle...by association. I attend church and Sunday School regularly. January 2018 lessons have all been about 'standing your ground with regards to your convictions, NO MATTER the COST '. The text to support the unit has come from the book of... Daniel . Daniel and his friends (often called the 3 Hebrew boys) were young, handsome and intelligent when their people were taken into captivity. These 4 fellas stood out to the point of being selected to go through a three-year boot-camp in order to be brainwashed so that they could serve the king who held them captive. Right from the beginning, their faith was tested . They passed each test with flying colors, with the assistance of God. Of course, whenever anyone shines brightly, they attract the attention of dull-minded haters . These particular Old-Testament haters caused the 3 Hebrew boy...

When I was a working wife and mom with Lupus, I would often start my days just as exhausted as I ended them . In my frequent searches to better understand an illness I will have until I die, I discovered the fatigue that is responsible for the frustratingly, embarrassing condition known as Lupus Fog . Basically, your body is so tired and in so much pain that it has caused your brain to check out. You feel confused, with an inability to form coherent sentences. You lose your ability to remember even the most important pieces of information, even with the aid of memorization strategies. Personally, I have had to stop in the middle of grocery shopping because I couldn't remember what I needed to get even though I was holding a list! The only cure is to use rest to reset. Now, I thought that domestication would require much less from me than the workplace wilderness. The truth is, if you're taking care of your spouse and child(ren) and home, and keeping up with schedules...

"Dear God. I just want to be the woman You want me to be." Be careful what you pray for. God has a way of developing you in ways that leave you sore and uncomfortable. If I stay honest. I have to admit that I am unsure what God wants for or from me and that is downright scary. I am afraid of not knowing what's next. I have spent thirteen years developing my professional career just for it to be snatched from me in the blink of an eye. The unknown is a fascinatingly frightening purgatory. Therefore, in an attempt not to lose myself to my anxieties about my future's financial stability, I am setting some ground rules. 1. No social media!     I need to hear from God, and that's so hard to do when I'm tuned in to everyone else. So for now, it's bye-bye Facebook. 2. Staying well-rested.     I have time on my hands now, so I might as well catch up on some much needed zzzzz's. Come back next week for more information about the importance of ge...

Ever since I was a little girl, I wanted to be a wife and mom. I knew I wanted to stay home and care for my children and serve my husband by creating a kingdom of peace called home. As I matured, the feeling grew stronger, but I was intelligent. I exceeded every low expectation given to the product of a teen pregnancy in the 80's. After graduating from college into a recession, I went into the only field I had experience in; childcare. I never wanted to work with children in that capacity, but I stayed in the field. I worked with children from every cultural and economic background in Saint Louis, MO and surrounding areas. I deepened my skills and knowledge base while adding years of experience under my belt. While I was flourishing in my professional development, I was suffering personally. Depression and anxiety started to consume me. It is so easy to lose your focus when real life doesn't meet the expectations of your fantasies . I was lost. I was confused. I was hurtin...