Domesticated Swag

I was embarrassed.

I became domesticated under a set of circumstances that I did not choose.

I felt like dead weight.

I've always worked for what I want.

I was afraid of depending solely on my husband's income.

I was angry for trusting someone who didn't deserve to be trusted.

I was delighted when I got my first client.

I felt important again.

I was re-filled with a sense of purpose.

I could make financial contributions again.

I would no longer be a burden.

I gained access to BOTH worlds: The Workplace Wilderness AND Destination Domestication!!!

I would ONLY mention one of them, because I was still ashamed of being domesticated.

Until...

My husband and I were having an end of the day chat. He asked me how was staying at home? So I confessed that it was a delight, but that I was also grateful to be able to contribute to the finances.

He looked at me pointedly. Deep in thought. Before finally saying, "I thought you said that your main focus would be taking care of the house and baby and making sure that the type of  weight I feel at work, I wouldn't feel at home. You said that now that the stress of working for someone else was gone, you wouldn't be so stressed that you would pass it around."

Shocked at how well he had paid attention to me, I was at a loss for words. 

So he continued...

"I know this is new. And you HATE change because you are afraid of what you can't predict. But, I believe that this is where God wants you to be right now. Too many things that technically shouldn't have happened, did happen. And they all happened back-to-back. I'm grateful that you are willing to help bear the financial burden, but it's not yours to bear."

"Keep your client solely because you have been called to care for others the way that you do. But not for any other reason. Accept the money, because it would be stupid not to. But stop worrying about bills. You have enough on your plate. You know when stuff needs to be replaced before we run out, you keep us healthy, you keep this house clean but inviting, you cook darn near every meal we eat, you wash EVERY dirty fabric we throw your way AND you homeschool the baby."

"If you add on anything else, you're going to collapse. And we need you. In your lane. All the way in your lane. With your whole heart. Stay in your lane. I got mine covered."

Photo Credit: Charles Specht

With this eye-opening lecture concluded, I realized just how right my husband was.

I was hand-crafted and put on this earth by the Creator of all things. And even though the way I entered into this chapter of my life didn't happen the way I planned, I know that God doesn't make mistakes. God knows all and either puts us in situations or allows us to enter into them on purpose.

Therefore, I must live each day with a sense of purpose that reflects that of my Creator. 

There's no need to be ashamed of the places God has put me in, because it is preparation for where He wants me to be.

Therefore, I'm laying down my shame so that I can pick up my swag. 

I am the wife of a kind, God-fearing man who strives to provide for his family.

I am a stay-at-home mom who cares for children with special needs due to the flexibility of my schedule and the skills I gained during my professional career.

I am a cook, organizing guru, time-management champ, stretcher of resources, home-making queen.

I don't play about my God, man or child.

I am unashamed of the Gospel and the saving power of the blood of Jesus.

And I choose to edify my savior in everything I do.

Signed,

An UNASHAMED Newly Domesticated Lady